The First Term at Skills in Review

Well, the first term of the school year has come to an end. In three months I would have to say that I have come a long way. Back in October I was so full of anxiety about being prepared, which I wasn’t, and now I feel so comfortable with the boys.
I wasn’t sure if I was doing things right. I wasn’t sure if I was doing enough to pave the way for HCSC. I felt like I wasn’t making a difference. There were even times when I felt that I couldn’t continue, but I never gave up. Whenever I was having a rough day at Skills, something would happen to keep me going. Just when I thought I was at the end of my rope something brought me back to life.
I had heard so much about how the Skills boys are different. They are stubborn. They don’t respect. They don’t learn. And I think I let that affect me too much in the beginning. It took some time, but I have come to know them better. I know that they can learn. I know that they are all good boys…they just need someone to show them. They need someone to show them compassion and commitment.
Whenever I do get frustrated with them I don’t hesitate to discipline, but I always remember that I was just like them once. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I have learned from them all. Sometimes you have to allow them to make mistakes…you cannot force them to be saints they have to choose it…that’s all. However, if no one is there to teach them about making that choice, about committing themselves to a certain path in life then they are indeed in danger of falling into meaninglessness. There is much more than just learning a Skill.
So the exam scores were not so great, but I know that they tried. I have spoken to many of them one on one about what they need to work on. One boy can barely read…I told him I will teach him if it kills me. Another boy approached me about becoming a Brother…I will do my best to guide him. One boy isn’t proud of being a Ghanaian and would rather be white…I will do my best to counsel him. And so many others come to me for their needs. The tasks are many and they aren’t easy, but I will try.
There were times in the past months when I let my frustrations get the better of me and I wanted to be angry, but I could never stay angry for too long. I know now that even when I wanted to give up I never could. There is something else guiding me, and that something is much greater than me. Because I have allowed God to guide me I have been able to go far beyond the limits of my own strength. I think it is appropriate at this stage in my experience to say that God’s will has become my strength…but there are still many times when I am weak.
Even when reading those words to myself I feel foolish. After all I am just teaching at one school in Ghana, West Africa. How much of a difference am I really making? How much pressure am I really under? How difficult can it really be? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Well at this point I guess my rebuttal would be that anyone who wants to make a difference globally had better learn to first see the sacredness and the importance of service to others in the smallest most personal of ways. Otherwise you are bound to end up serving yourself rather than others in the future…I have no audience here.